Some days in motherhood it’s so easy to focus on the negatives. Kids can drive ya crazy! I can’t tell you how many times both girls are screaming, I’m exhausted, the house is a wreck, the dogs are barking, and I just want to walk away.
I want to lock myself in a room. Alone. No, not alone. With a coffee and a donut. Scratch that. A dozen donuts.
I just want to shed all the responsibilities that come with raising little people. I often feel like I do all this work with no appreciation or proof. It’s hard and some days just feel downright sacrificial.
When I get into this head space, it often lasts much longer than I would like to admit. Then after some time, and a whole lot of praying for patience, I am always struck with one thought.
I get to do this.
I am one of the lucky ones. I am so blessed. There are so many women who long to be mothers, but it hasn’t happened for them yet.
Our little family took a walk to the post office in our small town the other day. Nora was walking with Collin as I pushed Ivy in the stroller. Just outside we met a sweet older woman who smiled sweetly and made conversation with the girls. Before leaving she turned to us and said, “two beautiful children, you’re really lucky.”
The way she said those words really stopped me in my tracks. I couldn’t help but think there was a story behind her words. I don’t know what that story was, but for some reason in my heart I felt like maybe it was that she never was able to have children she had longed for.
As we walked to the park and watched the girls play for a while I couldn’t help but keep thinking about that thirty second encounter. I was flooded with thankfulness for what I have been given. Thinking about how unfair it is that I whine, complain, and throw a pity party about tough days when so many women would love to trade places with me.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to have hard days and feel those hard feelings. It will happen. Guaranteed. I just think we would all benefit from doing all we can to make a list of all the things we are thankful for in those moments. Stop the negative thoughts, realize how many women out there are longing to be in our sticky shoes (with babies crying all around us), and then put on our positive pants!
I don’t know if that lady at the post office has the story I imagined for her. Only God knows. But I am so glad I had that encounter, in a small way it changed me in those split seconds.
Motherhood is a gift. Every messy part of it. I know now that my perspective has been changed. I pray now that I will remain in this. I know hard moments will come, but the blessings God has given me in my two little girls will always far outweigh any hard day that comes.
I get to do this.
Thank you Jesus.