I am a self-proclaimed introvert. I wouldn’t consider myself the traditional definition of an introvert. I am outgoing and at times I do want to be around people. But nine times out of ten, I want to stay home and be with just Collin and my gals.
Even though this is true, I have always really valued friendship and community. All through middle and high school I had a good group of friends, and two really close friends. I loved spending time with those people and made our friendship a priority. I was blessed to find the same thing in college. A good group of friends and two really close friends.
The thing that stinks about making friends in both of these times of life, is that people leave. All my good friends in high school all spread all over the U.S. My college friends are a bit closer, but sadly not close enough to see regularly.
So for a long time both Collin and I have felt like we were really missing out on genuine friendships and community. It is so hard to make friends as an adult because you are rarely in situations that can create meaningful friendships. It becomes even harder when you have kids. We had both been praying for God to bring friends and community into our lives again, but then we were just sitting back waiting for it to magically happen. So after a long season of sitting around complaining about “having no friends” we finally realized we had to do something about it.
We called up a couple that we saw often in passing and always left saying. “I think we could be friends if we hung out with them!” We started hosting a small group, inviting people into our home, being hospitable. Basically we took a little control of the situation instead of sitting around hoping. It was a little awkward and unnerving at first, there was a fear of rejection. But we got to a point where we were craving friendship so much we felt like we were missing something.
I’m so happy to say that what inspired this post was a conversation Collin and I had the other night about how good it feels to be back in community with others, and to have some meaningful friendships. We have some great friends with kids, we love all the people in our small group, Collin has made some good friends through work, our church is full of amazing young couples we consider friends.
We have been intentional about opening up our home to others, not just our home but our lives. We meet friends at the farmer’s market, we invite them over for dinner, see movies with friends, get coffee, organize playdates, and just do life together.
Friendship is so important no matter what season of life you are in. There is something so sweet about having a community of people you love being around. People who are there for you, challenge you, make you laugh, let you cry, and are just plain fun!
If you are feeling like you’re missing this I challenge you to do something about it. It can be a little scary (especially if you’re an introvert like me), but it is so worth it. Pray about it, then take some steps to make it happen. Friendship is oh so sweet.