A Case for Not Finding Out

With both our sweet gals we let their gender be a surprise until delivery day. That decision is not the norm anymore. It was something both my husband and I wanted to do, we both even desired that before we were married to each other. It was just something we had thought about on our own and were lucky enough to agree on.

I can’t tell you how many people are shocked when you tell them you aren’t planning on finding out the gender. What was more interesting was the distinct pattern of who gave what specific responses. Older generations would praise us on doing what they were “forced” to do. While people of our generation thought we were crazy and said, “we could never do that!”

I know very few couples my age that have waited to find out the sex of their baby. In fact I think I can count the ones I do know on just one hand. Today, I am going to make a case for why you should not find out! I make it a point to tell anyone expecting that they should at least consider it! Here are some reasons why!


| It is so much fun! Forget if you hate surprises or not, not knowing if you’re going to meet a little boy or a little girl on delivery day is a blast! That anticipation cannot me matched by anything else. Surprisingly (see what I did there?) I actually hate surprises, but this surprise I love! so much.

| It’s easier than you think. I was so worried about a nurse of doctor slipping the info to me. I was pleased to find out that the only person that ever knows the gender is the ultrasound tech. They don’t even put it in your file, so literally no one else knows or can find out! And the ultrasound tech will never remember because of how many women they see. So once you make it out of the anatomy ultrasound the beans cannot be spilled!

| You can be just as prepared as if you do know the gender. I think the number one thing I hear from women my age is that they couldn’t do that because they would have to be prepared. It almost (read: not at all) offends me. Like I am so irresponsible and unprepared for the baby because I don’t know if it’s a boy or girl? I had absolutely everything I needed for both gals, things were just gender neutral and that’s okay.

| Nurses will love you. Both times every single nurse we had before and during delivery said how much they love being a part of the births that are a surprise. It’s fun for them too! One nurse told us that hardly anyone does it anymore so for her it’s like a special treat to be in on that special moment with the family.

|Telling friends and family is one of the best parts!

Disclaimer. I’m gonna get real honest here.

I don’t like how things are typically done in this current age of social media. What I mostly see are couples who announce they are pregnant, then they do a cutesy gender reveal, then they share what they are naming the baby, then they wait. There is literally no surprise when the baby arrives. It’s almost anticlimactic (don’t hear me say a new life is not an amazing thing not matter what, of course it is. I simply mean the delivery of the news). People want to see what the baby looks like, maybe hear the weight or other stats, but everyone already knows “Jim and Tina were expecting a little boy named Jake. He’s here now” Literally no surprise element at all. One of my absolute favorite parts about our girl’s births was getting to call family and tell them what we had. Reactions are the best part! Bonus, we also didn’t share our names with anyone… double surprise!

| It’s one of the only surprises left in life. I admit I stole this reason from The Hubs, but it’s a good one! Today you can go online and find the answers to just about anything. People are obsessed with being “in the know” about every little thing. There are very few amazing surprises left. People don’t keep anything private or secret anymore with all the social media outlets there are. Sometimes you even find things out you didn’t want to know. But this is one surprise you have control of! And what an amazing one it is!

So there you have it.

I have stated my case. My case for not finding out.

I wish I could adequately describe to you the feeling of hearing the words. “it’s a ______” in the delivery room. There really isn’t a comparable feeling in life.

So, if you are yet to start a family I beg you to consider not finding out when you do ger pregnant! Trust me, you will not regret the fun surprise! If you have already had a kid or two and found out with them, let the next one be a surprise. It’s something you just have to experience!

I would never shame anyone for the decision they make about their family and their pregnancy. You do what you truly want to do. It is after all, your life! I just had to at least try! 😉

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