This is no deep, earth shattering post. Most likely I will be the only one interested in this story, but I have to write it down so I don’t forget. A few nights ago I had my worst night as a parent as far as sleep goes. I need to remember the (now funny) details and remind my future self that I survived this night!
A small amount of back story (for my own brain).
Nora is two (+4 months), and Ivy is 11 weeks old. Nora typically never wakes up in the middle of the night. She usually sleeps 8:00pm (well goes to bed and then sings and talks for a good 30 minutes) to 7:00am. Ivy has just started sleeping 6-7 hour stretches in the past two weeks. She sleeps about 8:30pm – 2:30am. Eats then goes back down until 6:00 or 7:00.
So as promised on Instagram with the above photo…
To set the scene for this little memory, Collin had been out of town for a few days at a conference. The night before had gone like normal and the days were going well too. I have some serious anxiety when Collin is gone and I have trouble going to sleep. I get really nervous and make up terrible scenarios in my head. I am hyper aware of everything and hear all kinds of “scary” sounds.
Typically I go to bed around 9:30 or 10:00, but while he was away I wasn’t falling asleep until after 11:00.
On this particular day, I feel like my night was a cliche movie or sitcom scene of motherhood and sleep. Here’s the breakdown.
8:30 -Both girls confirmed asleep in their rooms
11:00 – I finally lay down and close my eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.
7 minutes of sleep
11:07 – Nora wakes up screaming. I go in, settle her down.
11:15 – Lay back down. Get super comfortable. Nora cries again. I go in and rock her a little longer. She won’t say what’s wrong, I don’t think she is really fully awake.
11:30 – Nora is down. I lay back down. Close my eyes and Ivy starts crying. I go in. She’s worked her arm out of the swaddle. When I pick her up to fix it, she roots like crazy. So I nurse her.
12:00 – Ivy and Nora are both back down. I go lay down and finally fall asleep.
2.5 hours of sleep
2:30 – Ivy is awake and screaming. I go in, try just rocking her. She’s not having it. I nurse her again
3:00 – Ivy is back down. I lay down to finally get some sleep.
30 minutes of sleep
3:30 – Ivy is up crying again. Wide awake. She seems real gassy so I get her up, change her diaper, give her gas drops, work out some toots (mom life is so glamorous). Rock her for a while.
4:15 – Ivy back asleep. I try to go back to sleep too. While I am exhausted I can’t fall asleep for some reason.
4:45 – I finally fall back asleep.
30 minutes of sleep
5:15 – Nora is awake crying again. I go in, rock her and she goes back to sleep.
5:30 – I go back to sleep myself. Not too hopeful.
15 minutes of sleep
5:45 – Ivy is up. I bring to bed with me and try to settle her.
6:20 – Ivy falls back asleep. I do too.
30 minutes of sleep
6:50 – Ivy is up smiling at me like crazy and ready to eat.
7:30 – Nora wakes up. No everybody is up for the day.
Total number of times up with a kid = 9 times
Total hours slept= 4 hours and 22 minutes
I have never had a more broken night of sleep in my life. I couldn’t get over how many times I would have just fallen asleep and one of them was up again! It’s funny now, but I was not laughing that night. I may or may not have cried one of the last times I was rocking Ivy. It’s so hard to be that exhausted.
Here’s the thing though. I bet almost every mom reading this has had a night (or two) like this. It’s what we signed up for, it’s just part of motherhood. I was so tired the next day, I was literally dragging all day long.
Not only did I survive, but I still loved those little girls with all my heart the next day. They still made me smile a million times and brought joy to my heart. I can honestly say `that I would take ten more of those nights if it means having my gals!
So tired momma, I know those nights are hard. You want to just ignore the cries and go to sleep, but you have a job to do. Those little ones depend on you. They need your cuddles and kisses in the middle of the night. It won’t be like that forever, and you will make it through to the other side. Yes you’re gonna gain some extra wrinkles and dark circles under your eyes, but the trade off is that your heart is going to be so full of love you feel it might burst.
So here’s to hoping we all get a nice long nap, and that those sleepless nights fall when our husbands are home!