See what I did with the title there? (A Dog’s Purpose is a movie)
So this post is going to be sort of a word vomit of my thoughts. No fancy wording or tons of editing. Just some raw thoughts about this little space of mine.
I wrote my first ever blog post in 2011, I was in college and newly engaged. I had been reading blogs for a long time and fell in love with the whole thing. I decided to start my own simply for the fun of it. I literally had no goal in mind, just wanted to blog because I loved the “blog world.”
My first posts were terrible. You can read the first one ever here. I was simply having fun, documenting my stage of life, and trying to be cool like all the bloggers I loved so much. My pictures were terrible (hello flip phone), and my posts were generally boring to anyone but me and one other person (hi mom!).
I continued to blog off and on for a few years. Detailing life as a newlywed, teaching shenanigans, and anything else I could think of. It was a great way to keep family updated since I’ve lived far away since moving to Missouri. Still, just for fun and only read by family and friends who knew about it.
I was constantly going through seasons. I might write 10 posts one month and two the next. I was just writing when I felt inspired or had something worth writing about.
When I got pregnant with Nora I used it to chronicle my pregnancy and that was about it. Then, after Nora was born and I became a mom I suddenly felt like I had so much more to write about. I started to blog a lot more regularly and got a little more serious about my site.
The biggest change to my blog came when I decided I wanted to quit my job as a teacher and stay home. I thought I could become one of those bloggers who actually makes money from their blog. It can actually be an incredibly lucrative job if you do it right. So in June of 2016 I started “getting serious” about blogging. I was planning out posts, bought my domain name, purchased a fancy camera to up my picture game, and was even sending my text off to my momma to be edited.
For a good number of months I was on fire. My blog looked better, I wrote regularly, and I was proud of the content I was putting out. I actually started gaining some readers that weren’t just friends and family. I never made any money, but it takes a ton of work and time for that to happen. I was actually really enjoying all the work (it really does take a lot of time and effort for each post), and loved what I was creating to look back on.
However, after a little over a year I was running low on inspiration. I realized that blogging for money was not for me. It was just not something I felt comfortable with, and I didn’t really want blogging to become a “job” to me. I then stopped blogging for a long time except for the random post here and there and a few second pregnancy updates (sorry Ivy).
I didn’t really miss it.
Here’s the thing though. I still constantly “think in blogs.” Random things will make me think of blog post ideas and I will start writing in my head. Sadly with two kids its really hard to find the time to actually sit down and make those post ideas a reality.
I have also always struggled with what other people think of my posts and blog in general. Do people think I am trying to scream “look at me and how cool I am,” or that I am obnoxious when I share my posts of Facebook? I never want anyone to think those things about me. That’s not my intention at all.
I also shamefully admit that it can sometimes hurt me when I post something and no one comments or very few people read the post. Stupid I know, and contradicts my above thoughts, but I’m human and just being honest here.
This brings me to this very post.
I have been really feeling the urge to start blogging again lately, but have been held back by what I want the purpose of my blog to be. I know I don’t want to pursue making money with it. That’s just not for me. I have mentioned a million times that I love blogging as a family journal to look back on. It’s just hard to let go of the feeling that I need it to matter to other people. Why does social media do that to us? It’s frustrating and has caused me to miss out on posting some stuff I wish I had.
So here is where I’ve landed.
I have things I am passionate about in life right now. I am passionate about Jesus, I am passionate about motherhood, I am passionate about my family, and I love to share helpful things with others. These are the things I want my blog to reflect.
I want it to be about my passions and what inspires me. I want to do it ultimately for me, and my family alone. Do I hope others enjoy reading it, comment from time to time, and don’t find me annoying? Yes! Of course!
But this blog’s purpose is for me! It is my outlet of sorts, it is the way I love to document our little life. It is for fun. It is for me.
After all I’m just an Everyday Smith! 😉
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