Why I Choose to Never Talk Negatively About My Husband

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If I had a crisp dollar bill for each time I heard someone talk negatively about their spouse, I would have a hefty chunk of change. I’m not sure what it is about society today that makes people constantly want to berate their other half.

This is not limited to couples who are in the midst of a rough patch, are separated or in any other extenuating circumstance. Most times these are couples who come off blissfully happy on social media. But, the words they spew about one another tell otherwise.

I’ve heard complaints about trust issues, problems with household duties, whining about a spouse working too late, criticism of their physical appearance, character attacks, and sometimes even blatant insults about the other as a person in general. Many times as I am hearing these remarks I’m thinking to myself why the couple ever even got married.

It’s sad to hear one half of a marriage seem so unhappy with their spouse. A person who is suppose to be their partner. It makes me sad for that marriage, because it never comes off as a happy one in those situations.

I’ve been married for just over five years, so I know that marriage is hard. I won’t pretend ours is without its flaws. Collin is not perfect, he even has some traits I don’t necessarily admire, and at times he does things that drive me crazy. However, you won’t hear me bringing these things up to my friends, family or anyone else. If I have an issue, I speak with him about it first. It can always be cleared up quicker, and gentler that way. There are things we work on together. I’m honest with him about the traits he possess that rub me the wrong way. Likewise, he is honest with me.

But, more than all that, I never want to be seen bringing my man down with negative words. I don’t want others to think less of him, or to air any dirty laundry to people not in our marriage (so, no one). As Collin’s wife I want my words to him and about him to build him up. I know that I have the power to hurt him with my words. Whether they are spoken directly to his face, or behind his back. My words can be powerful, both good and bad.

Of course the Bible has a lot to say about our words, and how they can affect others. My favorite is found in Ephesians.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. Ephesians 5:22

If I am out spewing off insults about Collin when I’m with others, I am not showing my love for Christ. I am not showing that I follow Him, and want to live for my Savior. All I am doing is airing my sin, even though the transgressions I spout may be my husband’s.

I want Collin to feel loved by me at all times. Even when we are apart, I want my love for my man to shine through in the words I speak about him. By this, my love for Christ will also shine through. And after all, I simply have no problem finding wonderful things to say about my better half!

Death and life are in the power of the tongue… Proverbs 18:21

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life… Proverbs 10:11


4 thoughts on “Why I Choose to Never Talk Negatively About My Husband

  1. Karen says:

    I loved this, I feel the same way. When I hear others complain about their spouses my first thought is “if they are that bad why are you still with them”, its always my first reaction. I never say anything bad about my husband because I know him, yes like you said he is not perfect by any means and neither am I. My husband has way more good traits then he does annoying ones (as do I) but we are in this together and I don’t want anyone to think badly of him, on the other hand I don’t like to sit smugly and say he is perfect either when I am with friends. Thank you for your blogs!


  2. susansnodgrass says:

    Tavia, this is one of the most important lessons a wife can learn. ALWAYS remain loyal to your spouse. Recently our ‘almost’ granddaughter married and we gave her a list of advice and that’s the top one. When you have a fight, keep it at home. Especially leave your parents out of it. You’re on the right track. Susan Snodgrass


  3. Jeanie Berg says:

    Agree with you, for sure!!! I have practiced that very thing for the 52 years of married life and we’re still together and happy! I sure wouldn’t want him tearing me down or disrespecting me to his friends…..so why would I? You’re a smart girl!


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