When Nora was born and I became a mom I gained many things. A darling daughter, extra tummy flab, the title “mom”, an unfathomable love, dark circles under my eyes, deep laugh lines, expertise in poop colors and consistencies…
… and mom fears.
If you are a mother you know exactly what I’m talking about. No, this is not just regular fear of something and it is not comparable to my fear of sharks and grasshoppers (they’re terrifying, okay). This is deep, crippling, exceptional fear. I find myself struck with these fears at random and then struggle to push them away. Fears like:
What if Nora stops breathing suddenly?
What would I do if our car went into a lake and I couldn’t get Nora out of her carseat in time?
Is that piece of food too big? What is she chokes on it and I can’t save her?
What would I do if we were kidnapped right now?
What if I saw Nora runs out in front of a car and couldn’t stop her?
These are all real thoughts of fear I have had. But these are just a few of them. These are the frequent ones.
I think when you become a mom these fears, irrational as some may be, are just part of the gig. They derive from being human and sadly are mostly unavoidable. It is easy to let these fears hold you back , or cause you to hold your child back. I know I do not want to be one of those moms who is always worried and won’t let Nora do anything because of my own fear. I think every mom should have a healthy amount of fear, but these mom fears can be crippling and take a very strong hold.
God is only good. Always good. He is for me, not against me. He does not place these fears inside me, but He can take them away.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: 6-7
God can bring me peace “which transcends all understanding” in the midst of my fears, and guard my heart and mind from continually dwelling on those fears. Will they still come into my human mind? Yes, but if I shift my focus to God and pray for Him to take away those fears and give me peace, He will!
What a good good father!