Marriage is amazing. It’s fun, exciting, blessed and such an adventure.
Marriage is also hard. Blending two lives together, making tough decisions and navigating through all that life throws, is incredibly challenging. In the scheme of things, Collin and I’s four and a half year marriage is very short. But let me tell you, the tough stuff doesn’t wait until year ten or twenty. In our limited time as a married couple, we have already dealt with some tough stuff.
We still have so much to learn, but these posts will chronicle some things we have gone through, some advice, lessons we’ve learned, funny stories and just plain ol’ anything-but-boring married life adventures!
These are the marriage chronicles.
Vol. 2 | Tough Stuff
Collin and I have only been married a short 4.5 years. Some days it feels like we are still just in that giddy getting-to-know-you stage, and other times it feels like we are an old married couple. Our marriage definitely began with a period of time where it was all sunshine and butterflies. We loved being married, getting to live together for the first time, making a home together and all the other fun stuff that comes with marriage.
But reality bites!
It wasn’t long after we were first married that we had to endure a stressful job switch of Collin’s. He took a position for a newspaper that had him working 3 to midnight Wednesday through Sunday. I was teaching at the time and our schedules were exactly opposite of each other. We were still freshly married and now we were hardly seeing one another. That was no fun and we really had to learn to be intentional about spending time together. While this period of time was really hard, we look back and realize how much it made us appreciate the time we spend together now.
During this season of our marriage, we also had a terrible event happen with your dogs at the time. Rather than rehash the whole story, you can read it here. While they were just dogs, it was still one of the hardest things we had ever had to go through at this point. Looking back, I can see how much we grew as a couple. I was able to see Collin really step up and care for me in a way he had never had to before. We made it through to the other side with a lot of strength!
When I think back on all the difficult things we had to go through very early on in our marriage, the one that stands out the most is when we lost our first baby. Miscarriage is an ugly beast that has many times torn marriages apart. The time following ours and the months spent trying to get pregnant again, really tested our marriage. I remember being angry at Collin because he didn’t seem to be as sad as I was. I recall lashing out at him one morning because he was not being “sensitive enough” to my pain. I was sort of hard to live with during the last months before Nora was conceived. I was fighting a lot of internal stuff and was just riddled with fear of our family’s future. As much strife as we endured through that season, we continued to choose each other and fight for our family. Beautifuly, once again, I stand here on the other side and can say that it truly made our marriage stronger and helped it grow to new levels.
Collin and I attribute our strength through these rough situations to our faith in God and his love and grace over our marriage. This verse helps me remember that it is all temporary and God can redeem and restore any situation. Not only that, but he can work all things together for His good!
For I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18
If you’re in the midst of tough stuff in your marriage, take my advice. It will hurt, it will even flat out suck, but fight through it and know that it can and will make your marriage stronger. Know that God sees you in that moment and he sees what’s on the other side, keep pushing through and you will see what’s in store as well! Join your spouse in praying over those situations and pray big, bold prayers!
Collin and I can now almost look back fondly on those rough times. Not that we want to relive them or see them as “good times”, but we can now see why it was a part of our story and the intense strength it brought to our marriage.
To read more Marriage Chronicles click the links below.