The Hubs and I have been married for a little over a year now. That is a very small amount of time in the scheme of things but still makes us feel special because we have “experience”.
We still have a lot to learn and will be learning more and more about marriage every day until we die. But we also now have some knowledge, knowledge I want to share!
Some of the things we have learned in our 373 days of marriage, just for you!
Marriage is hard.
You go into it with romantic blinders on, thinking that it is going to be this perfect newlywed-ed bliss all the time. It’s not. Life is no longer just about you and your needs and feelings. You have to take into account the needs of another person and figure out just how they fit into your life in every area. It is an adjustment to say the least, but also a wonderful lesson in love and selflessness (hmmmm, I think God might have mentioned this in a book of his).
Honeymoons are the best thing ever invented, but coming back and living in the real world is even better!
Our honeymoon was the absolute best week of my life, hands-down (up to this point). An entire week, just me and my groom. I am tan and feelin’ sexy, the hubs is in great shape, we have all kinds of money, we have a week off of work, no plans, gorgeous hotel, a king sized bed (sorry mom), and did I mention we are finally married! It was great and we will be recreating it in July to celebrate our be-lated anniversary!
I loved every minute of it, but that is not real life. We are no longer tan (still sexy though!), we have no money worth speaking of, we both work full-time, we always have plans of some sort, our house is no Opryland, and our bed is a full. However, we are still married and the best part to me is living our plain ol’ real, boring life together. I didn’t marry the hubs so that we could have a glamorous life together. I married him to have a partner to hold hands with during our ordinary adventures. I wouldn’t have it any other way or with any other man.
Men don’t know what “cute” means.
One thing that excited me the most about being married was getting to decorate a house and make it a home. I had all these plans for cute coffee bars, knit throw pillows, kitchen table center pieces and so many more fabulous things. Then I got married and found out that husbands crap all over stuff like that. They don’t appreciate it, and they destroy it. “Cute” is not in their vocabulary and if my husband were to decorate our house it would involve a pair of dirty socks as a coffee table decoration, a granola bar wrapper tucked under the throw pillows and just for an added touch he might include a tower of video games somewhere clever. Yea, not quite the look I was going for! I am happy with how our house looks but it is a constant struggle to get my man’s respect for it. I guess I will just have to count on my mom and sister to appreciate it!
Knowing your spouse’s love language is crucial to a successful marriage.
If you haven’t heard of the 5 love languages here is a link to learn more. The 5 languages are:
Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation
Everyone has a way that they feel love and most people are one of the five listed above. When you learn what you and your spouse’s languages are it helps you both to think about how you should be showing love to each other. Both the hubs and I’s strongest love language is quality time. I feel loved when he makes an effort to spend time with me and when he clears his schedule to be with me. He and I are lucky because we have the same language so we understand the other one’s needs more. His second is physical touch (no, that doesn’t have to mean sex). He loves hugs, cuddling, kisses, holding hands anything like that. When I do those things he feels like I am really showing him love. My second language is words of affirmation, I want to hear that he loves me, that he is proud of me and I want him to build me up. When he makes an effort to affirm me, I feel very loved!
Don’t go to bed angry.
We fight, all married couples do, it is natural and nothing to avoid. When we are in a fight we always want to have plenty of time to talk things out and get it resolved. We don’t like being mad at each other so we try to fix it! There are times however when we just need to be apart from each other to think and cool down. That’s fine, but we never want to go to bed without resolving our fight. The Bible says “don’t let the sun go down on your anger” and we never do.
Get your mind out of the gutter, I know how it sounds and it is exactly what it means. I seriously have given this tip to 3 couples who recently got married. The hubs and I probably shower together at least twice a week. Not only is it a great way to spend time together, but it also saves water. About 90% of the time the shower is purely functional, we really are just doing our normal shower duties. We just do them together! We always have really great talks in the shower and did I mention we are saving water?
Read the Bible and Pray Together
This is something that we actually just started to do consistently together. It is so hard to find a time to do it and many times when do have time together we want to watch a movie or something more “fun”. However, reading the Bible is going to strengthen our marriage much more than a movie will. We haven’t found the perfect way to study the Bible together yet but it is fun to learn along side my best friend.
Simple as that! You are with your best friend and there are so many fun things you can do together. Having fun together is such a good way to strengthen your bond to each other and to make memories! Go bowling, take a random road trip, do something crazy together, just have fun and love each other!